Ep 25 | Unlocking Creativity with Victoria Montgomery

In this episode, I sit down with Victoria Montgomery, transition coach and founder of Voice Nerve Motion LLC, to explore her journey from corporate burnout to entrepreneurship. Victoria shares how a growing disconnect from her creative roots and the grief of watching time pass without honoring her values sparked a deeper reckoning in her professional life. 

Together, we talk about the physical and emotional toll of working in a misaligned environment, exactly when she knew it was time to leave, and what it looks like to help others navigate similar transitions. Victoria also opens up about her evolution as a leader, the power of curiosity and emotional intelligence in the workplace, and the creative practices she's embracing this year.

Topics Discussed in the Episode

• Reconnecting with creativity through shadow work
• Burnout, values misalignment, and leaving corporate
• Physical symptoms of a misaligned work environment
• How insecure leadership erodes credibility
• Effort vs. force and finding values alignment
• Victoria's coaching practice at Voice Nerve Motion LLC
• Intentional creative practices to prioritize in the new year

About Victoria Montgomery

Victoria Montgomery is a human-centered professional with experience across mission-focused sectors, with a passion for helping individuals and teams realize their full potential through developing a healthy relationship with their power and owning who they are becoming.

Victoria has worked in talent acquisition and as a people manager to serve business leaders and functions, as well as individuals in the social impact space, honing her EQ skills. Her approach is heavily influenced by her love and commitment to psychology and the challenge of personal growth within teams, individuals, and their interplay.

Connect with Victoria Montgomery

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/victoria-montgomery2525/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toriataughtme/

Company IG: https://www.instagram.com/voicenervemotion/#

X: https://x.com/montyybynature

Season 2 reflection exercises https://www.learnmindfully.co/store

Grab Consciously Crafting Your Career Path: https://www.learnmindfully.co/store

Connect with Roberta on LinkedIn 

If this episode sparked new insight, please consider rating, following, or reviewing the show. It’s the best way to help more people find and benefit from these vital conversations. Thanks for listening!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I kind of left with the goal that like I wanted to do some research at the very least on how to like make like an arts foundation or nonprofit that could like partner with different galleries. And moving back from 2024 to 2025, a year went by and I did not make any progress. And I was like kind of stopped in my tracks by that. Cause again, I'm very go-oriented. This was something that was important to me. And I really had the like the realization at that moment that I had been like so caught up in work and trying to make things happen at my job that it like distracted me and taken all of my energy away from the things that were important to me in my personal life.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

Welcome to In Her Words. This podcast is for women navigating through change, career, identity, motherhood, and just figuring out what's next. I'm Roberta Dembrowski, host of In Her Words and founder of Learn Mindfully. Each episode, I sit down with women who are asking big questions, navigating transitions, and trying to make sense of life as it shifts. You don't have to have it all figured out. You just need space to be real. Let's get into it. Welcome. Today I am speaking with Victoria Montgomery. She is a transition coach at Voice Nerve Motion LLC. She's a human-centered professional with experience across mission-focused sectors with a passion for helping individuals and teens realize their full potential through developing a healthy relationship with their power and owning who are they becoming.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Welcome, Victoria. Hi, Roberta. Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

I'm super excited to have you on the podcast today. We met probably like half a year ago at this point, which is wild, through an entrepreneurship group coaching program. I was wondering if you could give listeners a little bit about your journey and what led you to this moment.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Yeah, it was a little bit of a windy road. So I started 2025. Well, because now 2026. So I started 2025, realizing that I had kind of like stalled on some of my goals around creativity. And I really couldn't put my finger on like why that was. I'm a very goal-oriented person. And I just had not made any progress on my creative goals in particular. So I started the year off actually doing a little bit of a shadow work for your creativity course. And it that unlocked the key. From there, I really just started being just more intentional with myself and how I was spending my time. And that did include writing for creativity, making sure I'm spending time prioritizing like time to be inspired. And actually on my 34th birthday in April, I went to an art show. And the year prior, I went to the same art show. There was a gallery there from New York that's black owned, and they have the same booth spot, like right when you first walk in. And the year prior, I met with the gallery owner and just kind of like was talking to him about how he got started and any programs that they do, like in the community. And I kind of left with the goal that like I wanted to do some research at the very least on how to like make like an arts foundation or nonprofit that could like partner with different galleries. And moving back from 2024 to 2025, a year went by and I did not make any progress. And I was like kind of stopped in my tracks by that because again, I'm very go-oriented. This was something that was important to me. And I really had the like the realization at that moment that I had been like so caught up in work and trying to make things happen at my job that it like distracted me and took taken all of my energy away from the things that were important to me in my personal life, especially after now I've like unlocked my creativity, so to speak. So that was in April. And I think from April, uh the our uh cohort started in July. Yeah. I was still like, I had come into deeper understanding and a deeper reckoning with where I was with work and knowing that I needed to, I needed a little bit more structured help. And so that's when I had started talking to Baby Ann more and seeing more of her LinkedIn posts, and they were like kind of really hitting the nail on the head about like where I was, what I wanted, what I needed. And that's what brought me to our cohort. So to answer it more succinctly, it was both the desire for creativity and the grief of time passing, feeling like my life is kind of passing me away, that I'm not focused on the things that really matter to me. And I've been giving away my time and energy to these things that like are kind of serving me, but not really.

SPEAKER_02 4:39

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You mentioned creativity, and I'm curious, is that like a theme or something that you've honored for a long time in your life?

SPEAKER_01 4:49

It's something that that's always been important to me. Like many little kids, I grew up wanting to be an artist. I would draw a lot. It was something that was supported and nurtured to a degree, but of course, like many people, you know, your parents tell you that you're not gonna make any money if you be an artist, which is also I feel like pretty ironic because now we're in such a different place with art as a society and like the power of social media. So something that kind of got put on the back burner around the time I was 10-11. And I would say when I was in college, I started playing in makeup and that became my new like creative outlet. And I wouldn't like say it was artistic at that time. I'm like, but creative. And that was my way of like you know, filling that need. But then I would like look at things that other people could do. And even my younger sister, only in the time of the pandemic, she started getting like really creative and artistic with these paintings and these drawings. And she like she's amazing, and so and she did that in such a small amount of time that and she and she would just say, like, I just took the time to do it. And that made me realize that like I'm just not making this a priority. And again, like that was again in 2020, and like that's still a conversation that's kind of like been going on. And I would even like buy myself paint, acrylic paint, the paint brushes, the canvas. But I really had a goal like once a month, and like again, some months I would, or maybe like the first couple months I would, but then it would like really fall off. And I I again going back to like you know, what led into that shadow work course, like I've been wanting to do this, it's been important to me. I used to do it, but I'm not sticking with it. And I and again, that's just not like me to not adhere to something that I say that I value.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

I love the honesty of investigating that because what you're talking about, it's like it's a value. And I think a lot of the time people can have like aspirational values. They say that they care about something, and then when it comes to like the day-to-day decisions of whether they make space for it, they don't. And it's very rare that people investigate it, they're like, wait a minute, I said last year I want to do this thing, I didn't do this thing, now I'm gonna do this thing. It takes a lot of courage to confront that.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Absolutely, it it does. And I think I was an only child for a long time. I'm seven years older than my next sister, and I'm nine years older than the sister that I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Yeah, so I spent a lot of time being an only child, and even after having siblings, like they, you know, they were so much younger than me that like they weren't really like a true connection. And even the one that's seven years younger than me, too, she's also very, a very talented artist. So it's kind of like these these babies then coming here is still in my dream. But really, I just wasn't doing what I needed to do, and I and I wasn't understanding why. But I think because I spent so much time as an only child, I was used to kind of like going within and you know, maybe, maybe I, you know, reach out to my parents for like a bit for connection, maybe they kind of understand what I mean and and entertain it with me. Maybe they're too busy and and they can't. So I was I grew up grooming myself really to to go deeper, to ask more questions. And you can probably relate with the time that we grew up, where if like you had a question, you're always told to go like look it up. And that there was no Google, you had to go get the encyclopedia. So being you know, groomed in that way as a child too is just kind of like okay, and especially now with it being so easy with the internet at the tips of our fingers, it's like okay, let's let's investigate, let's see what's going on. What what else may be happening here?

SPEAKER_02 8:15

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. You talked a little bit about how you had gotten away in that that year, away from the dream of pursuing creativity and art. And I'm curious what ha what happened in that year? Was it just you went into work? Did something happen at work?

SPEAKER_01 8:36

Yeah, so I got a new job, and it was a job that I really liked, really wanted, really valued. And I think because I both enjoyed and valued the job so much, and you know, of course, we get into certain mindsets about like not necessarily proving our work, but proving value, perhaps, along those lines. And there was work that needed to be done, but it it I felt very confidently that it could be done. I think I spent a lot of time trying to establish myself and kind of help my function become more well developed. But in my dedication to my own definition of excellence and in, you know, the the skills and gifts that I brought to the role, I think that that ends up being, I hesitate to use the word, but I think it is the right word, threatening to some people who I work closely with. And so when I would have ideas or like, you know, try to move things forward, it would be met with avoidance for a while. And then I would have to spend time trying to understand and unpack like what is this avoidance about, especially if like we're all feeling the burden of the work and I'm coming with the solution. So I internalized that first. Like, okay, if their need is here, we all feel it, and I'm coming with the solution. What's in the solution, as far as I can see, fits and works. Why are we not moving forward with it? And of course, I have like speculation about that. I think, and I and I do want to be empathetic and show some grace here too. I think it can be hard to be a female leader, to be responsible for making decisions and it feels like all eyes are on you, or you know, even if somebody else has this idea and it otherwise seems fit, like if it goes wrong, I'm the person that ultimately buries or carries the cross for that. So I think it's there's some some tricky emotional realities that are that are valid there. But again, I think I was getting too caught up in that beyond what was fair or appropriate for me.

SPEAKER_02 10:29

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Did you have a time in that year that you were like, this is not working for me? Corporate is not where it's at anymore.

SPEAKER_01 10:40

Shortly after that, I think around the time that my birthday hit, I think maybe like actually it was April 14th. I had been my birthday's April 25th. This is April 14th. Taurus. Yes, I am a Taurus. Okay. I didn't you know just journaling and praying. It was on a Sunday morning, and I just was like feeling stuck. I think at this point I kind of come to like a reckoning that like this really isn't working, but I wasn't really ready to give myself permission to leave. I'm just like, okay, like how can I make this work? Like what else can I try? And on April 14th, I prayed and journaled, you know, ahead of you know, my church time, and I heard guess loud and clear, like, you need to quit, like, you need to leave the road. I was like, in this economy, and it's so funny because later on I was telling my mom about this, she's like, You questioned God? I'm like, Yes, I did. He knows that that was gonna sound crazy, crazy to me. And then I turned on this was a bedside Baptist day for me. So I turned on church, and the the word that day was about having the faith, like you do need to trust God to be able to take a leap without knowing what's coming next. And that's a part of being able to trust and walk on that path. And the timing of it was just um very striking to me. And again, I didn't end up leaving until nearly six months later because at that point it's like, okay, well, I felt this way, I've gotten kind of like this confirmation. Don't let me do it too soon. Order my steps, order my work. You wanted a plan, it sounds like the economy is crazy. This I'm not once a week having something lined up, which is what ended up happening. But yeah, that was the exact moment where I was like, yeah, but I think before then, the fact that I was, I felt like when I went home, I felt like a stick. Have you ever seen those memes where like it's like the stick figure and like the head is huge with like a swirl all of yes? That's how I felt. And I somewhere in between like feeling that way and trying to like advocate and ask for help and that it kind of falling on deaf ears. That's those were some like the other symptoms that okay, I'm feeling this way, I'm vocalizing it, I'm not being met with the support that I need for this to be different. Like that at that point, it's kind of tough on options.

SPEAKER_02 12:59

Yeah, it's and it sounds like from what you're talking about, it started almost as like a spark, uh a knowing. And then you knew, but then there was almost like this phase of still trying to make it work. Or like what I noticed with clients is like they want to know that they did all that they could within their control before they're ready to hang it up and like transition. And it sounds like maybe you had a few months after that, the first knowing that you were like, No, I'm gonna try, we're gonna see, and then it just didn't work anymore.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

Yeah, and another point that ended up being ironic but telling was at the end of 2024, I had started through my like funded through my employer a coaching engagement, which I loved and enjoyed. So I got the paperwork rolling at the end of 2024. We got started at the start of 2025, and I had like my set of like my list of goals and things I wanted to focus on that were genuinely just like kind of what I wanted to focus on to get me to like, you know, my next level. But I noticed and increasingly that every time we would meet, we couldn't really get to everything on the list because I really needed help navigating what I was experiencing in real time. That was a pretty big tell for me.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

That makes sense. Was entrepreneurship always in the cards for you? How did you go from corporate, leaving corporate to then jumping into this new thing?

SPEAKER_01 14:20

You know, I am a tourist, I like stability, I like security. I like knowing that the check is coming every two weeks. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

What did we say? I remember we were on a call, you and me, and you were like, I'm not meant to live an uncomfortable life. I was like, Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

Yes, and so people talk about like how difficult and rewarding, but difficult entrepreneurship can be, and how you know, it sometimes gets a little bit glamorized or people are dismissive about the true benefits and the cost and weight and value of the benefits that you do get from working at traditional nine to five. So though I did want to start something on my own on the side, it I was never planning to like jump head uh head and feet first.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

An entrepreneurial endeavor, but you know, sometimes life and God have other plans and you just gotta uh buckle up for the ride.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

Yeah, yeah. No, I relate to that. That's how I started, learned mindfully was a few years ago. I got laid off from a coaching job and I was like, screw this, I still want to do it. And that's how it was founded. I think it's interesting when you jump in like that because the group program with Vivian was the first time that I really like slowed down and I was like, wait, what's the big vision? Because I had just gone into like reactive mode with the business. And so like I actually took the time to slow down of like, what's the big vision? Like, what's my decades-long plan for this business versus just experimenting all the time. And so I'm curious, you want to tell us a little bit about what your venture is?

SPEAKER_01 16:00

Yes. So I previously worked in nonprofit higher education, and through all of my roles, I always coaching and and mentoring, but really coaching was also always a part of the work. And even in my role in talent acquisition as a recruiter, I really appreciated and enjoyed the process of like building trust and making my hiring managers feel understood and making them connect to the idea that like you're in the right hands, we can get what's needed done. And when that trust was established, then they would come to me and ask for other questions or support. They're gonna help them be successful in how they navigate the process, even like with internal candidates, like having like make perhaps difficult conversations, supportive conversations. You know, when you know, launching a coaching business or a business, I want to like lean into my gifts. And so with my coaching business, I'm here to support people who are really looking to they they realize that they've outgrown something and how they navigate, something and how they operate, they navigate their their boundaries, something is just like not really fitting or working anymore. And I want to help them because a lot of times people do actually know what it is, but I want to help them figure out their style and language for kind of putting things back where they go and have in their life feel good again. Because again, as we kind of talked about, I know what it's like to have something be out of whack or taking energy inappropriately. And it takes a lot of effort and energy to to take that inventory and then start like that's overwhelming as it is. But then you start making steps to get things back where they go. And so I want people to be able to feel like they can envision and embody their big picture view of success. I'm meeting people at that place where something isn't fitting anymore, it's not working for them, like a change either has been made and they're they're struggling to catch up to it, which happens, or they need to make a change so that things can be in flow.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

Yeah, they know something's wrong, something's not working for them. Yeah. It's interesting because we talked a little bit about it with your own journey, but what I find is that we as humans try so much to control, like something's not working. And so we try to usually overpower and fix it, like, oh, I can make it work. I can just give more energy and all that. And it's like, no, sometimes it's really just it's just discernment and walking away or something just like like you fix it by letting go.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

Observe what happens first and figure out what we want to do next.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

Yes, exactly. Exactly. I'm curious with the folks that you work with. Is there a particular like audience? Are you working with leaders, individual contributors?

SPEAKER_01 18:46

Yeah, so people who view themselves as leaders regardless of their title or status. And so I actually, one of my first clients has actually been a man, and that's was not necessarily on my bingo card, but it has worked out well. And so I'm I'm happy. I had this in mind for women and specifically women of color, just because the things that we navigate can just feel a little bit more tricky or have a little bit more weight to them. Some people are individual contributors, some people are in leadership and either wanting to like grow on their leadership or they're wanting to fine-tune their leadership practices. And like, I don't I haven't put in any of my copy or anything like that yet. I haven't figured out like a way to say this without it turning people off, perhaps. But I do have a conviction about like insecure leadership kind of corrupting credibility. And of course, if you're gonna be a leader, you need to maintain your credibility. That's like one of the most important things. So people are at various stages, but everybody does see themselves as a leader.

SPEAKER_02 19:44

Yep, yep, yep. Can you talk more about the insecure leadership and credibility? I'm curious. I can tell there's a lot of meat there.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

Is and so, and I and I do want to be transparent just because I I think it is easy to kind of be like on a high horse once you've like you've figured out a couple of things or once you've been on the opposite side of a couple things. But, you know, starting out when I was like 26, 25, 26, I was working in higher education. I had a staff, and really my first two staffs, they could not stand me. I think that's important to say. Like, I I've actually gained this experience. Like I've studied it from the textbook, and I've also like learned firsthand. And a lot of it is just kind of understanding how to communicate when there is a power difference, and a lot of it is about accountability too. And I I was like, for me, there were some situations as life presents, there were some elements of the situation that really didn't have a lot to do with me or that were out of my control, but there were some that were in within my control and within my sphere of influence. And I had to learn to like really slow down and be more intentional with how I spoke and how I made people feel in moments that could be perceived as vulnerable. So I think one that stands out was like in my maybe my first or second start of the year training. And again, I was working in higher education, and one of the like window activities that we did, like was a reflection that we did as a group, and people like one of the quite I was a facilitator actually, and I asked, it was like a step forward to raise your hand type of a thing, like if you learned something new. And I didn't acknowledge that I learned something new. And I think it was probably a little bit of I don't want to say imposter syndrome, but like perhaps like of like I'm the leader, I'm the expert, I'm teaching you. And like from a content standpoint, I did know those things, but I didn't acknowledge, and maybe I should have even specified in the question that like, you know, I learned a lot about the staff though, but I didn't acknowledge it at all. And I think that that really turned people off early on. So, like really learning and leaning into like the emotional intelligence, again, especially when there's that power difference, because I'm sure that was like really annoying for those staff and the student leaders that were supposed to be or expected to look up to me. And I can't acknowledge that I learned something new. And I think like ego. Can get in the way a lot when leaders are are trying and figuring it out or just wanting to feel good about themselves, whether they're trying to or not.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

Yeah. And so just remembering that like you, it's hard to be a leader if there's no one else around. Like you can't be the only person or only perspective in the room. And so again, apologizing or being able to take accountability is big. I know that that's one that I felt I felt frustrated with with other people in my career. It's like, if you're not safe to say that you made a mistake, it just it just doesn't set a good tone. And then even if I'm like the more subordinate person, if I'm able to do that or say, like, hey, I'm I'm sorry about that, or you know, be or if I'm bringing it to your attention before anything bad happens, like, hey, before anything happens with this, I made this misstep. Here's what I'm doing about it. What are your thoughts? And like that's appreciated, but you still can't like mirror it back when like you did make a mistake.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the biggest the I always say like the biggest risk to so many businesses is ego. Because ego is what ego is what we're seeing on a daily basis on the news, on everything. It's people not being able to admit that they're wrong, not being able to take accountability, humility, it's the lack of self-awareness. There's so much there. Completely agree with you. And what I think is interesting through the thread throughout everything that you have said so far is it's like the self-awareness and empathy that you have. And just knowing that like you don't have all the answers, being able to verbalize that as a leader and say, like, I want to find out more.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

Yeah, I think curiosity is so powerful and it's such an underutilized tool. And I I want to be mindful, I do understand that like when when you're priced on a timeline, sometimes you don't have a lot of time to be curious, but even if like you can't be curious in the moment, I think it's still worth it to a circle back. In like this process, I've met with another woman who has a lot of experience as like a formal facilitator. And I was meeting with her, and we were just talking about like a lot of the things that come up in these corporate workspaces, especially like she's a lot of times coming in as an outsider. I've done a lot of like internal facilitation, but I'm preparing to to lean into doing still more coming in from outside. And we kind of talked about like when you can tell the difference in like how the functional organization operates when the leader is emotionally intelligent, which also should suggest that they've done their own self-work. And I don't think it was like it came up explicitly in the conversation, but we kind of danced around it and like later on I saw like a TikTok or something that talked about when you're so used to lying to yourself, which is a lot of times a space that we fall into when we are haven't for ourselves and our self-work, it becomes so natural to then kind of be lying to everybody else. And you can more or less tell when that's the vibe, at least in a leader, and hopefully not in the team. But of course, sometimes it is a little bit of a trickle-down effect.

SPEAKER_02 24:59

It's like performative leadership. Yeah. I was talking to someone earlier today, and we were saying, like, as a leader or as a coach or even as a therapist, you can't take people to the same level, the same depths that you have not been to yourself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

And so that's a really good insight. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:19

Yeah. In some of your work, you talk about aligning effort versus force. And we talked a little bit about kind of control, but I'm wondering if you could tell me a little bit about what does that mean to you?

SPEAKER_01 25:30

Yeah. I one of the things that actually really attracted me to my last organization and gave me a lot of clarity in how I operate personally and professionally was the idea of values alignment and just how important that is. And even, you know, as if you have friends uh or other relationships that you've carried with you for like a while and at a certain point, or the certain things that you tend to like have that friction around or the things that you pop pets around, before I would get like upset and maybe make it a and it is kind of personal, but like more personal, maybe what it needed to be, versus just like like zooming out and remembering we just have different values on this topic. And that would just end up being like a really healthy reframe for me to navigate relationships. But also, again, if I'm like scoping out a new opportunity or even how to have a conversation, uh, like let's say, like within context of my last roller opportunity, how can I reach across the table on the common ground of our values? Like, we both value getting the work done, we value our reputation. We want we want to be seen as the subject matter experts. Like, how can we leverage those points of connection around like what we both genuinely value or what genuinely matters to us in these moments? And I think where I was getting lost at to some degree is like sometimes even that you know that there are those values-aligned topics, if you're or if I was spending too much time just kind of like not paying attention to like where the misalignment really was. Now I'm like trying to force something that it really is never going to be successful or kind of come together or congeal in the way that it needs to for this to be successful because the misalignment is actually not being addressed. There's no movement around the the parts that actually do not align.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. I think it's such powerful discernment to be able to one identify where you have values alignment within an organization or to a role or whatever it might be in a relationship, and then also when it's not there too. And then what is the impact of that energetically, somatically? Because usually if there's not an if there's a misalignment, it's usually going to manifest in some way. It's usually gonna be energetically or you're burnt, like a lot of burnout happens that way, and it just plays, it becomes heavy.

SPEAKER_01 27:56

It does. And I'm I'm glad you even brought up somatically because in the 2025, I like and like and of course I'm pretty sure it was a function of the misalignment that was there. I did start having like a lot more somatic and physical symptoms, and you missed a feeling of like heaviness. And in April, I would still say I just felt perpetually exhausted. And all year long for the most part, like unless I like my my friends made a plan with me, I would show up for the plan. But you know, it's winter. It's I've lived in Chicago, so it's it's pretty cold. And I would basically spend like from January through April, I was spending every weekend just sleeping, and I would still be so exhausted. And then by the time we got to April, I found myself in like what's called like a functional freeze where you're still like, yeah, like moving through your day as you normally would, but like you are completely emotionally numb and detached and just feeling extremely disconnected. And I looked up and I think two or three weeks had gone by and I was like, whoa, we're we're at that date already. Like, how did that happen? And that was like a really, a really big tell, a really big red flag for me.

SPEAKER_02 29:03

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I love that you're using this language. I actually use it as well with my therapist because, well, I guess zooming back out, when we go through stress, we our nervous system will react in different ways. Usually what we see is fight, flight, freeze, fight. It's that really intense thing. We got a survival. Freeze is when a lot of or even fawning, it can we're just kind of numb. We numb out. Maybe that's like you're vegging out on the couch, you're existing, but you're not really connecting. One of the things that I've realized within my own pattern is functional freeze as well. And it was a few weeks ago, it was last year, the end of last year, I was talking to my therapist and I was like, I feel motivated again. Like, oh my God, I need to do something with this energy. She's like, Yeah, like let's go. And I ended up applying to grad school, which I'm now starting at the end of this month. But I think it's like so it's being aware of like if your body is in that state, it's really paying attention to your nervous system. Like, do you notice a few days in a row that you're kind of lying on the couch, or maybe you're doing, maybe you're aggravated or like amped up for multiple days. And just asking yourself, like, hey, what's happening here? Like, is this a pattern that I'm in? What do I need right now in order to shift out of it? And usually with functional freeze is that we're feeling a lot and typically overwhelmed with the feeling or not letting ourselves process the feeling because we're not moving forward through the emotions. We're kind of like sitting in it, we're frozen in it.

SPEAKER_01 30:41

Yeah, absolutely. And I think for me, I'd started to feel like a lot of like fear and doubt. And I really couldn't place where it was coming from. That's just not like me. It's not like me to feel that way at work. Like it was just like I try to be a really like a stronger, coherent relationship with my personal power. And I think leading up to this point, because I was bringing stuff up and it really wasn't being attuned to in the way that I needed it to be. I it almost felt like I needed to start like finding or just being like, okay, or you know, just kind of like moving along or you know, not making peace. You know, I'm a black woman, not trying to be a troublemaker. And then also around this time, as you could probably already tell, I spent a little too much time on on TikTok on TikTok. This is also a clip from a podcast that I do watch too. I'm not sure if you watch or are familiar with the diary of a CEO, but um I forgot who the expert was, but basically they were talking about there's an experiment done where they had two groups of participants in one group, both of them used sweat. Like, so one of them, the people just like worked out and that's how they got sweat on their clothes. And then the other group did skydiving. And so they had sweat from like nerves. But when other participants smelled the clothes, the people who just smelled the workout sweaty clothes, they were fine. They didn't really like notice anything. But the people who smelled the fear-induced sweat, they became fearful. And it was kind of illustrating the conversation, and I'm assuming the study too, were illustrating that fear can be contagious. And I had all though I previously had not felt this way, I didn't know that people on my team or in my organization had felt a lot of anxiety and very fearful. And I again I can't exactly put my finger on like why that is, but I I remember even system, system, yes. I guess I can we can put our finger on why that is.

SPEAKER_02 32:33

Yes, yes, systemically, something was going on. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 32:37

And I remember talking to my therapist about it, and just and I even was like, I just feel like I I need to like shake this off. And he was like, It's so interesting that you even say that because he was reading this book called Awaken the Tiger Healing Trauma, which I also ordered the copy I can read it yet. But it talked about like trauma, like basically the animal kingdom. And I'm assuming it ties back to people too, but how animals like will literally like shake, shake it, discharge it. Yeah. And for me, my strategy at that time, while I'm still, you know, in this environment trying to navigate, is I at the start of the year, and I think by like by the summertime, I started to record it just because like if I need it, somebody else needs it. But I would just like go online on Pinterest or whatever else, Twitter, whatever, like affirming, like mindset, resetting quote, mantra, whatever the case, I would go find it and I would just like read over them. Or I'd go on Pinterest and I'd like, you know, have like images and boards that just like were really positive and really affirming, and sometimes results, again, sometimes just images, and I would just spend time at the end of every day, just kind of like focused on that. And that also helped me not get lost in the uh emotion of everything that I was feeling and and navigating. And at that time, I did kind of feel like torn in between like two realities, like I felt like a lot of pressure to shrink to fit the one I was in at work. I was using those, that little routine or ritual at the end of the day to kind of keep my mind and body focused on like, but self-care and having hope.

SPEAKER_02 34:03

Yeah. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 34:04

And moving forward and continuing to be empowered and comfortable to take up space and knowing that my ideas are good and you know, all of those things.

SPEAKER_02 34:11

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. You are putting such powerful words to being in an environment that is no longer like suited for you, and how do you continue with hope and coping and everything? I'm curious, what does the future hold for you now that you've stepped away from that space? That's a a big and beautiful question.

SPEAKER_01 34:32

Um, thank you for asking. And it it's a challenge to say just because of where I'm at. Like I do feel very grounded in myself, and I I know the action steps I'm I I'm taking and continuing to move towards. And while I'm still moving, I I trust that it the the reality around me will take shape, but I don't think it has done that just yet. So some of my big goals for this year are to so last year when I went to the the creative the shadow work course, I started writing on on Substack. And so I want to continue to write for myself privately. I do want to make a few pitches to public publications for this year. I would love to do some facilitating and like group coaching work, like in the corporate sphere, and of course, continue to grow with the individual clients as well. So again, I just want to be able to help everybody move towards their most empowered big vision, uh big picture vision of their success versions of themselves, whether it's like, you know, teamwork focused, individual, and just you know, continue continue to fight the good fight.

unknown 35:37

I love it.

SPEAKER_02 35:38

We started this conversation talking about creativity. And so I'm curious, as we're in the new year, are there any creative practices that you're embracing this year?

SPEAKER_01 35:48

That's such a good question. Cause I and you just challenged me to be more specific. So one of the things I appreciate about starting this year is I do we'll see if I'm right or wrong, but I feel like I'm on my marks from where I was last year. My resolutions, if you will, are about just continuing and making more structures to continue and deepen the work that I'm already been doing. So it is important for me. So like last year, one of my goals was to have weekly intentional fun. And this year it's like bi weekly. So I'm I'm up in the ante. And a lot of times my idea of fun has to do with something that's inspiring. So this this time I lean more into like inspirational fun. And so, like last week, I ended up going like wheel throwing, which is you know, like ceramics pottery. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was fun. One of my favorite things to do. There's a a studio in Chicago that does graffiti art. And so, like with like the spray paint, I I I love that. So, just again, just making sure that I'm keeping it top of mind. And you know, in certain months, like February, uh, for instance, I don't know about this year, but last year there were a lot of like Black History Month installations. So it can be things like that, but even still, like last year there was um an exhibit called Project the Black Planner, which I absolutely loved. And I bought the art book. And so though I can't always go see that exhibit, I at least have the book. Um I'm making it intentional to like invest more in those practices or those th the states of mind that hold meaning, hold impact, and are still like inspirational and get me thinking about being creative as well.

SPEAKER_02 37:20

Yeah, I love the examples that you gave too, because they're very tactile. So, like the wheel throwing, the pottery, all of those things are very tactile, even the art exhibits that you're talking about, which is important. All of those things, I feel like we kind of at least with 2020, we kind of disconnected from the physical. And so it's nice to see that you're embracing that in your practice.

SPEAKER_01 37:42

And it's so easy to get lost in like the responsibility of life as much as I can. I try to keep it a priority to do something very intentional, like you said, tactile or tangible, so that I'm just like getting the most out of out of that moment.

SPEAKER_02 37:58

Yeah, absolutely. Amazing. How can listeners stay in touch with you?

SPEAKER_01 38:03

Yeah, so by the time this airs, my website should be ready. So be voicenervemotion.com. And otherwise, people can find me on LinkedIn, Victoria Montgomery. Like if you do the little the URL.

SPEAKER_02 38:18

We'll we'll have the URL here in the show notes.

SPEAKER_01 38:21

And then I am on TikTok um under Toria Taught Me. Amazing.

SPEAKER_02 38:26

Thank you so much, Victoria, for joining us.

SPEAKER_01 38:28

Thank you, Barbara. I I loved uh being a guest on your podcast. I really appreciated it.

SPEAKER_02 38:37

Thanks for being here. If something in this episode landed with you, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it too. You can leave a review, subscribe, or just keep tuning in. We're figuring it out together. And remember your story, your voice, your becoming, it all matters.